Thursday, May 19, 2011

Be A Parent You Can Be Proud Of

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Last year I talked about detoxing your parenting style.

It's time to do it again. Well, for me it is.

I'm finding myself at an interesting place. My kids aren't little anymore. Well still "little," just not babies that need supervision 24/7. They don't constantly need me as much as they used to, and this allows me to have more free time...

But what am I doing with it? Am I wasting it? Do I spend it foolishly?

Am I throwing away this precious time?

Just because my children aren't constantly calling out for "Mommy" doesn't mean that they don't need me. It doesn't mean that I should be spending this time selfishly. They are still my responsibility.

Even though my oldest daughter can read Little Women (her school book) to herself, how much more wonderful to have her read it out loud to mommy?

Even though my middle daughter can sit for hours drawing illustrations for her stories, how much more wonderful to have me join her in mommy-daughter drawing time?

Even though my son is happy to play outside alone hammering nails into wood, how much more wonderful would it be for me to watch him and praise the work of his hands?

I'm trying to be a parent I can be proud of. Are you proud of your parenting? What areas are you wanting to work on?

(Linking up today with Thought Provoking Thursday)


  1.  You are speaking to my heart today!  What a gift your words are.  Yes, I want to be the parent my children deserve, to be a model for their future parenting.  

  2. love, love, love this post.  so many times lincoln asks me to come and sit on the porch while he ....rides his rip-stick, rides his bike, hammers nails into wood- lol, etc...just to have me "near" him.  this time where he wants me around is so fleeting, thank you for the reminder that i need to be present for all of it.  <3  

  3. I hear, ya.  I desire to find more ways to keep us a family, too!  No matter how old they get.  Though mine are still at the age that I need to make sure I am sitting right by the water while they swim. ;)  It's fine to do things on our own at times,  but still keeping connected and keeping our family of individuals a family that encourages, loves, inspires and desires to be together. :)

  4.  Why must it be so hard to remember?  I feel I am reminding myself way too often.  :)  When are we going to get the little guys together.  Isaiah would LOVE to hang with Lincoln!

  5. its just like you said....they get a little older, a little bigger, a little more independent...we feel a little more "free".  but these time are so precious and so short lived we have to treasure them NOW!  and yes, please bring isaiah over any time, and the girls for that matter...we love your sweet children :)

  6. What a great summation that can be applied to far more than parenthood!  How do I spend my time as a friend, as a husband, as a student, as an employee?  Such a great look at the sin of poor stewardship!  Thank you, Heather

  7.  So often I feel a need to be productive but you are right, personally relationships are great and something in which to invest.

  8. I have no biological children but appreciate the effort expressed here regarding parenting.  I also like the emphasis on detoxification throughout the site.  Make "stuff" go away!  Amen!

  9. Beautiful post, Heather!  And I loved your article (and the video) on detoxing your parenting style! Even though my kids are 21 and 26 now, spending time with them is still important. We spent a lot of time reading together when they were teenagers - and that was something we all treasured. It's amazing how much the time spent together pays off in memories and in wonderful relationships at the time and when our children become adults! :)

  10.  What a great reminder! My kids are still really little but my toddler plays independently a lot. He's happy building a tower on his own but he's even happier when we do it together. It's reassuring to hear your examples of ways to continue that togetherness as he gets older (ways I never would have thought of, since they weren't part of the way I was parented).

  11. BEAUTIFUL thoughts!! Thanks for linking this up!! (LOVE that photo, btw!)

  12.  I am being much more intentional with my 3-year-old boy now that my 7-year-old formerly homeschooled boy is in school here in England. It was always hard to give my younger one the one-on-one time that my older one got when he was little and that always weighed heavily on my heart and mind. My goal now is to DRENCH him in attention and praise, pre-schooling, hands-on life, spontaneous detours, and following his lead every now and then.

  13.  Thanks.  I hadn't thought about this in more than parenthood but your observation is brilliant.  Gives me much to ponder.

  14. Thanks for commenting Deb!  I love to hear from others that have older children, it gives me such encouragement and hope.  If only I could sit at your feet and pick your brain. :)

  15.  It's hard to parent in a different way than we were as a child.  So often I find myself saying or doing the same things that I grew up hearing/seeing.  It's hard but I am hoping to finish differently.  Thanks for making this observation, you have given me much to think about.  LOVE your website by the way. :)

  16.  What great goals!  I need to be more intentional about drenching my kids with attention individually too.  Hmmm I see some dates with mommy in the future. :)

  17. Love this!  I am working on keeping centered, calm, and joyful, and also making time for each child.  I can get so run down in trying to run the house and deal with the school (IEP, special needs, etc) that it can be really easy to forget the joy.

  18.  "Just because my children aren't constantly calling out for "Mommy" doesn't mean that they don't need me." Yes! I am incredibly guilty of this. I still have 2 out of 3 that are very needy (1 and 3YO), and now that my 5YO is able to play on his own, and occupy himself, dress himself, GO TO THE BATHROOM BY HIMSELF...etc, I am just so glad to not have another mouth to spoon-feed, bottom to wipe, body to hold...but he still needs me. I don't want to waste these moments away where he is asking me to play soccer with him, or check out the latest bug he's found.  This is difficult.  Thanks for the reminder!
    Joining you from TPT

  19. I know what you mean Angela!  Sometimes I have to literally stop what I am doing and count the gifts in order to change my attitude.  Searching for Joy along with you!  Thanks for your comment!  

  20.  Thanks for your encouragement.  You are so inspiring!  Your girls are so sweet and being trained up well.  My son keeps asking when we can get with "those girls" again. :)

  21. I love this post! I am where you are- my kids are doing a lot more on their own- and I am tempted to just get as much done as I can all by myself- but my #1 job is to mentor, teach, and love my kids!!! Thanks for the reminder. 

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